


Starlight

by boredom



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angsty Crowley (Good Omens), Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Anxious Crowley (Good Omens), Comforting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 20:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20477387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Stars have always held a special place in Crowley's heart. He did make most of them, after all. Throughout his life, there has been one inspiration. One muse. One guiding star. Maybe his and Aziraphale's relationship hasn't always been perfect, but it still has given him  more than he ever wanted.





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I really need to work on my multi-chapter fic.  
Also me: Heyyo! How about I start two new fics and not work on "The Wrongness of Ezra and Anthony's lives" Yeah. That sounds like a great idea!

Astrael pursed his lips and poked a few more dots in the sky. 

“Argh,” he groaned, flopping forward to rest his forehead on the table. “It’s not right.” 

He sat back up, squared his shoulders, and looked at the constellation he had been working on for weeks. He was praised for his past work on nebulas, constellations, and solar systems. He was a virtuoso; a craftsmen of the highest degree. Angels from other departments often stopped by to get a view of his handiwork. Archangels themselves had praised him. 

It wasn’t hard because he loved the stars. He loved how grand and expansive, yet small they could be. He loved arranging them into beautiful displays of lights and colors. He loved how they could look different from different points. He loved creating, but he was stuck. He had been for weeks now. 

He was tasked with making a constellation, a star and planetary system, and a nebula. It was the most important job as these would be the final touches to the universe. This was the final source of light before God moved onto the next stage of her plans. He had been given an immensely important task and he would not mess it up. He could not mess it up. 

And yet, everything he put forth, everything he tried, it was lackluster. It was worse than his first systems. It was random in all the wrong ways and too structured in all the wrong ways. 

With a snarl, he waved his hand, erasing hours worth of work in a matter of seconds. He had assured his boss that he could do this alone; that he could do this without supervision. 

“It’s not good enough. Why isn’t it good enough?” 

“How’s the work going, Astrael?” another angel asked. They helped out with the universe creation department, but they weren’t an artist. More of an HR personnel.

“Fine. Everything’s going great,” he lied. He felt his throat tighten. It was bad to lie, but he was an angel. Could he do wrong? He remembered the meeting the Morningstar was having. He knew there was something wrong with Lucifer’s talks, but he couldn’t stop himself from going… and agreeing to what he was saying. 

The angel, named Pamyel, smiled at him. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can tell you’re frustrated.” 

Damn her (to where, he didn’t know). They was too perceptive for their own good. 

He flung himself back on the chair, red hair dramatically flowing and covering his face. “Oh, it’s just the woes of an artist.” Better to put on a show than to discuss the problems. You were better liked when you were dramatic. Something about being an artist could allow you to get away with it. 

“Tell me about it?” They patted his arm. “I may not design for the cosmos, but I have a few of my own designs. Small scale stuff, but I know at least a little about the creative process.”

He peaked through his hair. Sighed, and stood up, walking towards the window to look out at the cosmos. “I’m stuck, Pamyel. I just have to create three more things and then this wonderful, collaborative canvas of stars, suns, moons, planets, and astral bodies will be complete. This work will last for eternity. The Almighty’s pet project will use it to inspire, to guide, to light their way and to structure their days.” 

He snapped his fingers and a nebula came hurtling towards them. “I designed this one like that.” He snapped his fingers. “The colors flowed out of me perfectly and I spun them so miraculously, it felt like I blinked and it was in existence.” 

He turned back to the table he was working on. The half-finished constellation was still swirling on it. “This one, meanwhile, I’ve been struggling with for what feels like an eternity and it’s yet to even look half-way decent.” 

He threw out his arms and spun around. “What is the point of having creative control over the stars when I created something so run-of-the-mill, it might as well have been spat out by an instruction manual.”

Pamyel, for their part, sat quietly while he monologued. He couldn’t tell if they were still paying attention or not.

“This is my last chance to create something meaningful, something lasting. Furthermore, it’s my last chance to create. Once all the stars are in place, Heaven will have no use for me anymore.” 

A lump rose in his throat. He knew from his creation that his job would eventually come to an end. There had been talks of restructuring, but he didn’t know where he would go. Probably some boring, paper pushing office to live out the rest of his days, which were infinite since he was an angel. 

He loved his stars. He loved spinning tales and stories with them. He loved the trial and error of how close two astral bodies could be to one another before they were destroyed. He loved the technical details as much as the beauty. He loved it all and he would lose it soon. That made it even more imperative that he get this right. 

Pamyel tapped their chin. “It sounds like you’re suffering from artist’s block brought about by perfectionism.” 

Astrael glared at them. “Wow, such insight. Tell me more!” The sarcasm scared him almost as much as the lying. It didn’t feel angelic to be sarcastic. He was walking a dangerous line and didn’t know how far he could get before he stepped over.

Pamyel, for her part, didn’t seem offended. “You’ve been cooped up here since the Beginning. You need other inspiration. Take a walk, maybe down on Earth?”

“How are a bunch of rocks and trees going to give me inspiration for the stars?” This chat was proving less useful than he had hoped, and he hadn’t had high hopes to begin with. 

She shook her head. “As an artist, you need to get inspiration from lots of different sources. It’s an ecosystem, not a quarantine. Who knows, maybe you’ll find something to model your nebula after.” 

Astael thought about it for awhile, tried to work on his star and planetary system, threw all his work in the trash, and then went down to Earth. 

There was technically no law against going to Earth, even if you weren’t assigned there, but it was highly frowned upon. Still, Astrael had never been much for rules. 

He floated over deserts. Deserts. More deserts. Yet more deserts. And even more deserts. 

There were a lot of deserts on Earth. 

He almost gave up, but decided maybe he could check out the Garden. He had never been and didn’t know much about it. 

He was careful not to be seen by the angels working there. He heard they could be a fussy and protective lot. Apparently, God was very proud of her “human” creations and they felt it was their duty to protect them. It was one of the main sources of conflict between Lucifer and the Almighty. He didn’t like how much time she was spending on her pet project. 

The angels were largely acting like, well, angels. They were stoic and not at all straying from their posts. They were all equipped with flaming swords. And they all looked as though they wouldn’t hesitate to cut your head off. So far, no inspiration. 

“Oh, hello there.” 

Astrael jumped out of his skin. Had he been spotted? He whipped around, looking for the owner of the voice, ready with some sort of excuse (lie) to try and keep his head on his shoulders. His eyes landed on an angel, but the angel wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at a tree. Must have gone made with all the monotonous garding he was doing. 

“Looks like you’ve gone and gotten yourself tangled up. Let me help.” 

He was blonde and practically radiating love and God’s light. Astrael had to shield his eyes. He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so pure. The angel had his back turned to him and was reaching up into a tree, rustling the branches as he worked at something. Astrael crept closer, careful to not make a sound. 

“You must be careful on some of the… er, well, branching branches. You’ve gotten yourself stuck on one of the crevices.” 

Astrael ducked behind a bush and peaked out from behind it in time to see the angel turn with a snake wrapped around his arm. He swallowed as he took in the angel’s face. He was… rounder than what Astrael was used to seeing in Heaven. Softer, not just in body, but in spirit as well. His face was kind, safe, comfortable. There was a hint, just a spark, of defiance and snark in his eyes. Astrael could see it from here. But there was also love. Love for comfort, for love itself, for all the creatures. Even this serpent that had scared Adam and Lilith upon first seeing it (or so Crowley had heard). 

“Try not to get yourself tangled up in knots again. I won’t always be around to unstick you,” the angel said, placing the snake on the ground and rubbing the top of its head with his finger. The snake hissed and leaned into the touch. 

“Now, shoo. I have to get back to my duties. Wouldn’t want me to get into trouble with Gabriel again, would we?” 

Astrael rolled his eyes. Gabriel was a wanker if he had ever seen one. He was a pompous and arrogant jerk and he couldn’t imagine someone as sweet as this angel working for him. He also couldn’t imagine someone as sweet as this angel getting into trouble for helping out one of God’s creatures. 

The angel smiled for a moment, a soft look about his features; one that Astrael felt guilty for seeing. This was not a look meant for him. He snuck away, slightly ashamed for what he had done. 

That night he designed his constellation. Serpens was hailed as a wonderful constellation. It was a great reflection of one of God’s creatures. When it was unveiled, Astrael saw the angel in the crowd. He beamed at the sight of it. It was as if he had found his guiding star, the one who could inspire him and show him the path to wonderful creations. 

Astrael continued to visit the garden and watch the angel from afar. He learned his name was Aziraphale. He learned that he talked to all God’s creatures. More importantly, he learned that one sight of that smile could make him feel better. 

He created his nebula not long after. Another beautiful piece of work. 

When he wasn’t watching Aziraphale, he was spending time with Lucifer and his growing crew of disgruntled angels. He didn’t fully agree with everything Lucifer said about Heaven. There were parts that could do with a bit more explaining, that was for sure, but there were also parts that were wonderful and beautiful. 

Astrael created the North Star, a tribute to his own guiding star. It wasn’t something he had to do, but God put it in the sky anyways. Now, when he was stuck on his star and planetary system and couldn’t get down to the garden, he’d look at the North Star and be reminded of his own star. One day, he’d introduce himself to the angel. 

One day, he’d march up to him and say: ‘Hey, want to see the most beautiful star system in the universe?’ And they’d go to Alpha Centauri and the angel would ooh and aw over his work. These fantasies gave him funny feelings in his chest and other parts of his body. 

He was worried, of course, that his star would reject him. That he’d hate the idea of being a muse. But he tried not to dwell too much on those fantasies. Instead, as he worked at Alpha Centauri, he thought of the angel’s smile. He thought of it being directed towards him for once. He thought of being on the receiving end of the love Aziraphale gave to the bees, snakes, deer, fish, birds, and humans. 

Alpha Centauri was both a technical and artistic masterpiece. So much so that everyone in Heaven stopped by to see it for what felt like weeks. Other angels in the star department wanted to know how he had done it. Angels in other departments would just stare slack-jawed at his work. 

His star came up to him one day, smiling shyly. “It really is beautiful,” he said. “I know you must have heard that a thousand times.”

“Try twenty million,” Astrael laughed. There were strange palpitations in his chest and he felt his face getting warm. 

“Then I suppose my praise won’t matter much.” His starlight bit his lip and looked away. 

“No!” he said, much too quickly. “No, it means the world to me. It was partially inspired by you.” 

More lies. Without Aziraphale’s existence, it would have never looked like this. 

“Really?” Aziraphale tilted his head to one side. 

Great, now he had to tell the truth or else he’d make things more awkward with a retraction. “Yeah, I went down to the Garden to get some inspiration. I saw you interacting with some of the animals and… well… I liked what I saw.” 

Was that creepy? It was probably creepy. 

“Goodness, I can’t imagine I’d be a partial inspiration to all of this. It feels too great to be a reflection of myself.” 

Astrael had to bite his tongue. What had Gabriel been doing to him? 

“It’s a reflection of your love for everything, and your heavenly light,” he explained, trying not to dwell on the immoral thoughts he had towards certain archangels. “It’s a bit difficult to explain, but I tried to incorporate those feelings in it.” 

Aziraphale smiled again. “Well, I’m flattered. It is lovely.”

“We should go sometime,” he blurted out. Heat rose in his face and he berated himself for being so needy. “I mean, I’d love to give you a tour. If you’d like, of course. No need to feel forced or anything. Wouldn’t want that. So, yeah.” Smooth, very smooth. 

Aziraphale opened his mouth. 

Astrael waited with bated breath. Yes or no. One of those words would be spoken and then he would either have all of his dreams come true, or have all of his dreams be crushed. 

Someone called Aziraphale’s name.

“Oh,” he said, turning towards the voice. “I’m sorry, I must be going. It was nice meeting you.” 

“You too.” Astrael waved as Aziraphale walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, his smile dropped. Maybe next time they could go to Alpha Centauri together. 

oOoOoOo

Astrael fell. He didn’t mean to, really. But in toeing the line, he must have stepped over it. He wondered what question was what pushed God over the edge. 

He never did get to go to Alpha Centauri with Aziraphale. 

oOoOoOo

Word spread that Lilith had rejected God and Adam and was now a demon. A new woman was created. Lucifer got an idea. 

oOoOoOo

It was cruel of God to have the damned keep their memories of Heaven. At least, it was cruel for Crawley (he had lost his name when he had fallen). While the other demons seemed to think that these memories were good reminders as to why they had fallen in the first place, to Crawley it was a constant reminder of the star he lost. 

He never even had a chance to talk to Aziraphale again after their one conversation. 

He had just started to get used to his life in Hell when Lucifer announced a bold new plan. 

“I’m going to destroy God’s pet project,” he said, a smug smile plastered across his face. 

“How?” One of the demons asked. 

“By showing her,” he spat out the name as if it were the most vile word in the world, “that her creations are not perfect. Not like we were.” 

There was a murmur of agreement. Crawley did not agree. If angels were so perfect, then why were ten million former angels down here? Surely, this was a sign that nothing God created was perfect. He didn’t voice his opinions, though. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he were to fall from grace again. 

“I need someone to go up there and make some trouble.” 

Surprisingly, no one raised their hands. 

“Hmm,” Lucifer looked around. “Not one volunteer?” 

“It’s just, there are angels up there,” a demon named Hastur said. “They’ve got flaming swords and, well, the last time we went against a bunch of angels. We lost.” 

There was a murmur of agreement. 

Crawley, once again, was not in agreement. He was thinking. He was thinking about the stars in the sky. About a smile that inspired them. About his own guiding star. He desperately wanted to see Aziraphale again. Surely, Aziraphale, kind Aziraphale. Loving Aziraphale. Beautiful Aziraphale. Surely his starlight wouldn’t smite him. 

“I’ll go!” he said. “I’ll see what I can do. I’m not afraid of the angels.” 

Lucifer grinned at him. He looked much like a predator. 

“Someone who shows initiative. I like it. What was your name again?” 

“Crawley.” Even as he said this, it didn’t sit right on his tongue. He should probably change it. Crawley didn’t really feel like him. But what should he change it to?

“Crawley, if you pull this off. You’ll go down in history.” 

He didn’t care about history. His creations were already up there for all to see. But he nodded anyways. Best not step on too many toes. After all, where else would he go if these people didn’t accept him?

oOoOoOo

He chose a snake as a form. He had hoped that Aziraphale would see him and pet him, much like he had done with the other snake. 

He lied to himself and said it was because keeping close to the ground was a tactical advantage. And snakes had a better sense of smell, so he’d be able to track where all the angels were. 

When he got up to the Garden, he was puzzled when he realized there was only one. God was playing at something. He knew she was. If only she would tell them. No one would question her if she just told them what she wanted; what she was planning. 

Out of spite, he tempted Eve to take a bite of the apple. It seemed only fair, after all. God seemed so keen to keep humans in the dark. Might as well give them free will. 

His triumph didn’t last long. Aziraphale didn’t recognize him, even after he had transformed. He didn’t look all that different from his angelic form, his eyes were just a funny color now. But Aziraphale still acted as though they had never met before. As if he wasn’t the inspiration behind a whole damn constellation, nebula, and planetary system!

It was the final nail in the coffin. God was cruel and unfair. She had taken everything from Crawley. Well that was just fine. He’d show her what he was capable of. She didn’t like his questions? Fine, from here on out, he would question everything! He wasn’t going to play along with her stupid game any longer. 

As for Aziraphale…

His starlight. 

He couldn’t bring himself to curse the angel. It wasn’t his fault that he forgot. And he was glad he didn’t fall. He wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. He’d stay far away from him. The planet was big enough for the both of them. Besides, now that Adam and Eve were out of the Garden, Aziraphale would likely be back in Heaven by the evening, and they’d never see each other again. 

oOoOoOo

After his success with the apple, Crawley got assigned to Earth. As a job, it was kind of fun. He liked annoying people and doing some minor temptations here and there. He should have known Heaven would put their own agent on Earth. 

He should have known, with God’s sense of sick humor, that agent would be Aziraphale. 

When they met at the Ark, he felt angry. He was angry at God for drowning everybody. He was angry at Aziraphale for being so willing to accept everything without question. He was angry that his stars and galaxies were sitting up in the sky, mocking him. 

When they met at Golgotha, he was less angry. He was more sad and confused by all that had gone wrong with humanity. Lucifer called it a success. Their side would win with all this sin. Crowley barely had to lift a finger. He showed up, partially to taunt Aziraphale for the failure he had played in leading people towards the light, partially to see how he was reacting to all of this. 

So caught up in his own grief and anger, he didn’t realize his guiding star had dimmed dramatically. Had he been in a better mood, he would have realized that Aziraphale was suffering, had likely been suffering since Adam and Eve had been kicked out of the Garden. He would have realized that his starlight was fighting this monstrous battle single-handedly. It may have brought him some comfort, to know he was not the only being in the world questioning why. 

As it was, he didn’t notice. And as Mary and Mary Magdalene took Jesus from the cross, he left the angel there; grieving and questioning and longing for his own flash of hope in a world that seemed to get darker by the day.

When they met in Rome, their relationship shifted. Aziraphale approached Crowley. Crowley noticed his anxiety, his suffering. He could taste it on the air. He realized they were alone on this Earth. No one else knew what they were going through. Maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss this strange little angel. Maybe they could be friends.

oOoOoOo

Like most things Crowley did, his plans, no matter how well thought-out, eventually came to bite him in the ass. His friendship with Aziraphale was definitely one of those times. 

Apparently, demons could fall in love. 

Apparently Crowley was not as over his feelings as he had pretended. 

Apparently, one of Aziraphale’s smiles could still make funny things happen with his chest. 

He was an idiot. He couldn’t keep his distance. This was the angel who inspired the greatest stars in the sky, after all. He really hadn’t changed, not even after all of these years. But Crowley got to know him better. 

And Goddamn if that wasn’t the biggest mistake on his part. 

For one, Aziraphale was not as kind and innocent as he seemed. Yes, he loved all of God’s creatures, great and small. Yes, he would coo and pet pretty much anything that would sit still long enough for him to coo and pet. Yes he sometimes didn’t understand things and was horribly old fashioned. 

But he had a bit of a snarky side. He was a bit of a bastard when it came to certain things and had no trouble biting back. 

And fuck if that didn’t make Crowley fall even more in love with him. Aziraphale had him wrapped around his finger. Did the angel realize it? Probably, the way he would bat his eyes whenever he wanted something. 

Crowley was weak to those eyes. If Hell ever found out the intense feelings he was harboring, it would be bad news for both of them. So he kept his distance, as much as he could manage. 

Still, the word _ angel _ took on a meaning more than just a species. And in his private thoughts, in the quiet of the night when he was by himself, he’d find himself calling Aziraphale more endearments. Endearments he hadn’t dared think of since his fall. 

_ My star. _

_ My guiding star. _

_ My sun and moon. _

_ My universe. _

_ Starlight. My very own, starlight. _

He only ever bought one book in his entire life, a big book of the universe. He had everything he had worked on bookmarked. Some nights, when he was feeling especially lonely, he’d flip to Alpha Centauri and stare at it for hours. It still looked the way being around Aziraphale felt. He’d run his fingers over the picture and imagine taking Aziraphale up there one day, just like he had promised all those millenia ago. 

Every time he’d build up the courage to ask, Aziraphale would push him away. He’d remind Crowley that he was a demon. He was incapable of love. He would never be worthy because he _ Fell _. He was unforgivable. And Aziraphale, sweet, lovely, beautiful, bit of a bastard Aziraphale, would never be able to love him back. 

Sure, he didn’t actually say those words, but where Crowley would do anything he asked for without question. Aziraphale wouldn’t give into one of his simplest requests. 

The fight over the holy water reminded Crowley.

oOoOoOo

He hated the Blitz, almost as much as he hated the invention of the lightbulb. When the bomb sirens weren’t going off, there were lights all over the place. It drowned out the stars. Humans were seeing less and less of them each year. All of that work for nothing. In a few decades, they’d be lucky to see one in the sky, with the way light pollution was going. 

He woke from his nap angry and bitter about Aziraphale. If the angel was going to be a narcissistic, self-absorbed twat like the rest of the angels, then fine. Crowley didn’t need him. 

He saved him from the Nazis thirty minutes later. 

“I’m so stupid,” Aziraphale said, finally breaking down in the car. “I can’t believe I fell for it.” He scrubbed at his eyes. 

Crowley’s annoyance with their previous argument was dissipating quickly. The light was dimming again, just like all the stars in the sky you could no longer see. 

“You’re not stupid. You just wanted to help.” 

“I was so desperate to help. Gabriel said not to get involved, I thought I could though, the human way.” 

Crowley hissed. Why would Gabriel tell Aziraphale not to get involved? Shouldn’t they be trying to stop this? Weren’t they the good guys?

“And after the horrors of the Great War, I thought I could help. I thought I could put an end to it all.” 

Ah, yes, the war to end all wars. Crowley had slept through it but got two commendations: One for the trenches, and one for the Treaty of Versailles. Aziraphale hadn’t slept through it. He had had to deal with all these horrors on his own. 

“And I hear the prayers of the people under Germany’s rule. Crowley, you should hear what they’re doing to them! To all of them. And what Japan’s doing to the Chinese and the Korean’s as well. It’s awful.” He was crying now. 

It scared Crowley. He had never seen Aziraphale so distraught before. 

“I tried to use my powers. I tried to make them see that what they were doing was wrong. I tried to tell them that gasing all those people. Raping all those people! It was wrong and Gabriel told me to stop. He told me it wasn’t my job. I shouldn’t waste miracles and energy on assignments they hadn’t given to me.” 

Crowley bit his tongue so hard, he tasted blood. His eyes were now more serpentine than ever. He felt his claws extend from his fingers. Why was Gabriel being so cruel? 

“When Rose, I mean, Frauline Whatever, came up to me, I was so happy. I thought this would be a way to help without needing to use miracles. Looks like I was wrong.”

Crowley glanced over at him. “Everyone makes mistakes. You tried to do things the human way, and they mess up all the time. Come on, let’s get you home.” 

Aziraphale looked over at him. Crowley had his eyes back on the road. He was studying him, he could feel his gaze. He didn’t turn back. He was still angry about the holy water, but in light of recent events, it didn’t seem like such a big deal. 

oOoOoOo

When Aziraphale gave him the holy water, he felt as though their relationship was finally progressing forward. True, Aziraphale said Crowley went too fast for him, but even going slowly meant they were moving forward. Then Armageddon happened and more arguments were made. 

Aziraphale lied to Crowley. He hid information from him and chose the side of Heaven even after everything they had done to him. 

For centuries, Crowley had used Aziraphale as his guiding star, as a light in the darkness. 

It appeared that instead, Aziraphale was no different than the rest of Heaven. He was blindly following God’s will without thinking about anything else. So desperate was he for Heaven’s love that he was willing to reject Crowley offering his heart on a platter. He was tired. He was done. He couldn’t go to Alpha Centauri, not without his star. 

Then Aziraphale was gone. He was dead. Hell had killed him in retaliation for Crowley’s misdeeds. The Big Book of the Universe burned in Crowley’s flat. He didn’t even have to go back there to do it. He couldn’t bear to look at it. Couldn’t bear the thought of it. All this work to protect Aziraphale, all the times he had saved him, it was for nothing. When it really mattered, Crowley was useless. His guiding star, his very own starlight was gone. 

Then he came back and it took all of Crowley’s self control not to kiss him. It would have been improper considering Aziraphale was sharing a body with another person. 

Then they managed to stop Armageddon. 

Then they managed to trick Heaven and Hell into leaving them alone. 

Then life continued much as it had been before Armageddon. With lunches out and nights in the back of the bookshop. Crowley told himself he was fine with this. 

As always, the first person he lied to was himself. 

oOoOoOo

“Crowley, we need to talk,” Aziraphale said one day as they were walking back from lunch. 

Crowley’s heart damn near fell out of his chest. “About what?” He managed to say in his normal nonchalant voice. Inside, he was panicking. This would be the day that Aziraphale finally left him for good. This would be the day when they’d go their separate ways and never see each other again. 

“Well, it’s just, I’ve been having strange dreams lately.” 

Um, that wasn’t what he was expecting. “Okay? What’s that got to do with me?” 

“I feel like the dreams are about you.” Aziraphale had stopped walking and was now staring at the ground. “Oh, it’s hard to explain. It feels like less of a dream and more like a memory.” 

Crowley swallowed, his throat tight. “What’s going on in the dreams?” He was hopeful. He knew it was stupid, but he was still hopeful. 

Aziraphale looked at him, studying him. “You’re an angel. You’re eyes are gold. I remember that. That’s where the Almighty put your divinity. And you had such lovely long hair, like in the Garden, when we first met.” 

The pedestrians around them were angry at them stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. Crowley normally would have relished the low-grade evil he was spreading. Now he could only focus on the angle. 

“You’re telling me about something you helped create. You were saying…” he blushed and looked down. “Well, I don’t want to be too forward.” 

“What was I saying, angel?” he breathed. With each word of the story, his hope grew. 

Aziraphale’s eyes flicked towards him. Only for a moment before going back to the ground. “You were saying how I was an inspiration.” He turned and started walking. “Oh, Crowley, I know it’s silly. To think I would be an inspiration for anything.” 

Crowley laughed and broke out into the widest grin he had ever put on his face. “You remembered!” He shouted, grabbing Aziraphale’s face and kissing him. “You remembered it!” 

“What? You mean, I’m not making it up?” 

He hugged him and spun him around. Aziraphale’s feet briefly left the ground and Crowley was pretty sure he kicked a few innocent bystanders. 

“No! Angle, you didn’t make it up!” He grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and yanked him to the car. “We’re going to my place, I have something to show you.” 

Aziraphale let himself be dragged along and didn’t make any complaints when Crowley drove well above the speed limit. 

In his apartment, he pulled out the book of the stars. “Only book I ever bought.” he said, flipping it open to Alpha Centauri. 

Aziraphale looked at it, his brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.” 

“I was one of the angels in charge of designing the universe. Stars, galaxies, asteroid belts, the whole shebang. This one, you inspired me to make this one. And this one.” He flipped to the nebula. “And this one.” He flipped to the constellation Serpens. “And the North Star. Aziraphale, that was all you.”

Aziraphale blushed, his fingers tracing over the drawing of Serpens. “There was a snake in the Garden who got tangled in a tree once.” 

“Yes!” Crowley was happy. Then he remembered that he didn’t actually know if Aziraphale liked this or not. There was still a chance he could be weirded out by the whole thing and request they go their separate ways. After all the work Crowley did to save the bloody world, that had better not happen.

“You invited me to go to Alpha Centauri, to take a tour of it.” 

Crowley nodded. 

Aziraphale looked up at him, his expression hopeful. “Is that offer still on the table? Now that the Earth isn’t in danger of ending, I wouldn’t mind going.” 

Crowley smiled and took Aziraphale’s hand. “Of course it is. We can leave whenever you want.” 

oOoOoOo

After the trip to Alpha Centauri, Crowley expanded his endearment vocabulary. My star was still one of his favorites. Guiding star made Aziraphale blush. My moon and my sun was only when he really wanted to embarrass him. 

When he wanted to be tender, in the private moments only to be shared between him and Aziraphale, when he wanted Aziraphale to know how loved he was, there was only one other term to use. 

“I got you this paint set. I know you miss creating.” Aziraphale looked down at the canvas, paints, and brushes in his hands. “It’s not really the same as creating stars and galaxies and whatnot, but it is still creating.” 

Crowley pulled him close and kissed his temple. “It’s perfect, starlight.” 

And in their small cottage in the middle of the country with almost no light pollution. There were millions of stars in the sky. Crowley’s very own star was with him, lighting his way. And, for the first time in forever, Crowley did not question. He merely sat back, and created out of love.


End file.
